‘Hard-On’ Rises From Dead; Corpse Knocks Mortuary Worker Up
Lexington, Missouri (HAHAJK) – Are you sexy enough to make a dead man get hard? One woman apparently is.
A dead man rises to the occasion and delivers his precious cargo
A 38-year-old female mortuary worker is being held on $250,000 bond after becoming pregnant by a dead man who’s under — literally — her care.
Want to be a fan? Join HAHAJK on Facebook!
The alleged crime took place at the Mourning Glory Mortuary just outside of Lexington, Missouri. Police have charged Felicity Marmaduke with desecration of the dead and necrophilia.
According to a statement made to police by Marmaduke, the alleged victim experienced a post mortem erection while being bathed. Being alone, and not with a man in some time, Marmaduke straddled the dead man and proceeded to “beat a dead horse”.
Much to her delight, the extremely dead man came to orgasm after several minutes, filling the woman full of very much alive, semen. A few weeks later, Marmaduke had a positive pregnancy test while receiving a routine medical exam. After explaining the circumstances leading to the conception to her doctor, the physician screamed, vomited and notified the police.
Marmaduke was arrested without incident at her downtrodden trailer home a few blocks from the mortuary, which may be the least surprising portion of the story.
As expected, Marmaduke plans to sue the dead man’s estate for child support. Doctors expect at least half of the baby to be born dead.
Feel free to leave a comment, below!
